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Scott MacLeod's avatar

“I need disrupters,” shouted the flannel-vested alpha dog. “The grave-digging industry has not innovated since Hamlet.”

“How about vertical caskets? More efficient use of space.”

“Can lead to unpleasant pooling at the base. Keep spitballing!”

“Bunk coffins? Also saves on real estate.”

You mean stacked like patties in a Big Mac? Interesting. What else?”

“Dynamite instead of digging!! Saves on labor costs.”

Terence looked around the conference room and envisioned future 20-hour days among these private-equity knobs. In his mind the walls turned to hard-packed clay, and he could almost hear the sound of dirt being shoveled onto the roof.

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svndavn's avatar

“You’ve made a grave mistake. She doesn’t like flowers.”

“But she’s dead.”

“Still, she doesn’t like flowers.”

“Then what should I put on her grave?”

“Chocolate, whiskey, maybe even a little money. That’s what she likes.”

The woman rolled her eyes. “Mom, stop possessing Dad. I know you’re in there.”

Her father laughed and then his eyes spun, rolling back inside his head. He passed out on the grass, her mother rising out of his body, a trail of white smoke.

She crossed her wispy arms. “How did you know it was me?”

The woman was silent for a moment. “Dad never cared about what you liked.”

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