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Gloria Horton-Young's avatar

Picture it: A dude's apartment, more takeout boxes than furniture. Our hero? A human vacuum cleaner with a PhD in couch potato-ing. Neighbors whisper, "Is he building a fort out of pizza boxes?" Plot twist! Garden invite slides under the door. He thinks, "Vegetables? That's what they eat." But hey, desperate times.

Suddenly, he's elbow-deep in dirt, talking to tomatoes. Who knew? Growing stuff is addictive. Now he's the kale whisperer, and his only six-pack is the friends he made. Take that, delivery apps!​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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Jake Vermillion's avatar

My wife wanted a gluttonous Haiku about 🍪

Only a sick person

Smells a batch of fresh cookies

And doesn’t want one

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