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Chris J. Franklin's avatar

PROMPT: PROXIMITY

THE AMENITIES

We were fortunate to have so many wonderful amenities in close proximity.

There was a variety of entertainment available and multiple dining options.

Beautiful open spaces to sit in, with stunning views of the ocean, were right outside our door, and we even had a state of the art gym and spa a few steps away, waiting to pamper us.

Everything we needed was all within easy reach.

But then, we were paying through the nose for this luxury cruise… 😎

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Miguel S.'s avatar

Damn I wish to go on a luxury cruise one day.

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Chris J. Franklin's avatar

They do look amazing, for sure. They really are like floating cities these days... 😎

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Ema Stonig's avatar

I'm two days late with this. I'd try to blame it's a holiday week, but that would be a lie. Other things on my mind, let's say. In homage to the old adage about better late than never, here's 80mg of Proximity. And microdosing indeed. These prompts are addictive, and inspiring. I'm going to work on a longer version of this story. In the meantime, here's 80 words of it:

Jeanette tells herself it will be fine living in the same building.

It's been years since that torrid summer she let him do whatever he wanted to her.

Two months later she's in the elevator when he gets in with his wife.

They say hello as though that summer never happened. Then the doors slide shut, and he starts kissing her. Then his wife starts kissing her, and Jeanette is very close to letting them both do whatever they want.

https://substack.com/@emastonig

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Miguel S.'s avatar

Haha I'm glad you enjoy them. Don't worry there is not really a limit on the prompts :)

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Ema Stonig's avatar

You should know better than to tell a writer there isn't any deadline. I appreciate that, though.

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Anon's avatar

I stay a safe distance from you. I never enter your personal space, except for one touch. I touched you on the arm. I wonder whether you remember? If you are talking to someone else, I stay away. Out of earshot. I have had so many ideas and plans to get close to you. All of them have failed. And yet. You have made two suggestions. I am approaching them carefully, at a tangent. Every dog may have his day.

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olivia s's avatar

Microdosing - 80mg of Proximity

===

He arrived around 6 in the morning. His patient had a difficult night, signing a sensitive document under threat. The caretaker found him unconscious.

His patient finally settled down as he waited, catching a hint of lavender in the air.

The secretary arrived, saying he was fine when they last spoke on the phone, mid-day. He handed her the boss’ broken and blood-splattered glasses.

As she approached him, he caught a whiff of her perfume. A subtle hint of lavender.

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Nick Winney's avatar

nice! although lavender always makes me think of grandmas house.

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olivia s's avatar

it's a good mosquito repellant too!

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C J O'Hare's avatar

Lavender - I always associate lavender with sleep - My mum would have put lavender drops on my pillow when I was a child, to help me sleep. I have never been able to break the association. Great story!

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olivia s's avatar

That's a great use of lavender. The first time I knew lavender was from some deodorant my dad used when I was little, the smell has become one of my favourites till now.

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Jeannine's avatar

Argh, you ruined it for yourself! (the scent not the story!) Sad and scary... New Hampshire imposes stiffer penalties when a crime involves elder abuse. Good work!

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C J O'Hare's avatar

“Please,” she whispered. “Just this one time.”

“I don't know,” he said. "You shouldn't even be in here.”

She leaned closer, pressing her body against his. He could smell her perfume.

She inhaled sharply, tracing the passage of the four men from the SUV through the double doors of the facility, her painted nails scratching the surface of the console.

Butterflies . . .

“Ok,” he said, fingers trembling, flicking up the cover of the button marked: DROP PAYLOAD.

“Just this one time.”

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Miguel S.'s avatar

I like this one CJ!

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C J O'Hare's avatar

Cheers Miguel!

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olivia s's avatar

Looks like we had the same association of 'perfume' with this prompt word.... :) I read your story just after I paste my draft but decided to hit 'post' since my brain is probably too sleepy to draft a new plot :). I imagined your scene was in a prison facility and someone was dropping a prison-break package?

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C J O'Hare's avatar

Oh wow - awesome take - that totally holds up too. Perfume, and smell in general is so evocative, it's the first thing that came to mind to relate the 'closeness.' Thanks for your comment Olivia!

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Nick Winney's avatar

this is creepy and menacing. what is going on here....intruguing!

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C J O'Hare's avatar

This is a drone operator being coerced into letting someone else drop the bombs on the target (for kicks). Was trying contrast the feeling of 'too close' with 'distantly removed.' Maybe I made this one a little too sparse 😂

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Nick Winney's avatar

thats a fucking excellent story!!!!! but id say its worthy of a lot more words. theres a gold mine of ethical filth you can dig out of that idea. i didnt get more than a flicker of what was in your mind but even so, i can see it now you explain. I wish I had that idea and was writing that story... a challenge in 80 words. my hat is off to you CJ.

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C J O'Hare's avatar

I think I should be able shuffle a few words in or out of this one in a later draft to help paint the picture clearer, maintain it at 80, and keep the gold mine of ethical filth in the mind of the interpreter! Thanks for the engagement Nick, you are too kind, and also, if you want to write this story, its yours, I will 100% read it!!

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Nick Winney's avatar

the engagement is what i like best about stack. you come across so many creative and cool people here and hardly any trolls and dickheads. i like to hope that me taking a moment to show some appreciation for something that does the business will make that persons day a better one. 😎

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C J O'Hare's avatar

Absolutely! I joined up with Substack, just over a month ago and I have written more in that time, than I had in the entire remainder of 2024, and I know that a large part of this is due to the engagement I get from fellow creatives - like yourself.

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Jeannine's avatar

The first time I saw the 'possum, he was in a tree at the edge of the woods. I said hello.

The second time he was in the barn, nestled in the hay. I shooed him out with a broom.

The last time, he was in the hen house, eating the remains of my favorite pullet.

Love and hate. War and peace. Life and death. So much depends on proximity.

My eyes full of remorseful tears, I raised the rifle.

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Miguel S.'s avatar

Oh I hate to love this 😭 reminds me of the time I had a mouse in my room as a kid. And I didn’t want to say it to my dad because he would just set a trap for it 😭

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Jeannine's avatar

I never grew out of that feeling. Fortunately, most wild critters take the hint at the broom shooing stage... Mice, unfortunately, never take hints. They are so dang cute, that I would tolerate them in the house if they weren't so destructive. I remember a time when my mother-in-law's car stopped working - my husband looked at the engine and discovered a massive mouse nest. They'd chewed up some wires, which meant a tow to the mechanic and an expensive repair. But they ARE cute... 🐀

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olivia s's avatar

I could feel the sting of the tears...

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Jeannine's avatar

Thank you. So could I, it's a modified memory. Life in the country is wonderful, but not perfect... 😥

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Nick Winney's avatar

this hits the mark on a lot of levels. well done. subtle but a strong message

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Jeannine's avatar

Thank you. It was a lot less subtle when I first composed it, but I'm beginning to understand how useful it is to to shave off extraneous words.

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Richard Blaisdell's avatar

The dishwasher is in proximity to the sink. Washed food from dishes; stacked neatly, not too close to each other. Long ago brothers took turns, played Inspector gadget in un-ethical terms. This was war. Saucers, spoons, forks, volley into half-track mess. “ Missed a spot.” Another round shot. Siblings sunk many a ‘ship’. No etiquette. Plate dishes piled on counter top, flipped on floor. “ Truce?” Paper plates, plastic, utensils, dirty clothes, cleaned up great. The laundromat is in proximity.

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Jeannine's avatar

Nice! My brothers and I had a similar experience when we got bored mucking out the horse stalls. Shovels make great catapults and horse poop makes great projectiles! Our mother wasn't happy either...

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Nick Winney's avatar

you have such a unique style richard. really stands out like a signature. not sure i can quite fathom whats going on but sounds like mother will not be happy?

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Richard Blaisdell's avatar

Washing: wiping dishes. Nick. Siblings rivalry. Too close proximity= war.

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Nick's avatar

Missed all of last week so glad to get back to these 🤗.

Proximity

He hated Pepper.

He hated the way he held himself. Taller. More rugged. Tanned. He hated the gravelly grunt he made when called into action. All he could do was splinter and shatter, anonymous until he went too far. And then his presence was bemoaned by everyone.

This proximity needed to end. He needed to be hurt. Taught a lesson. A violent lesson was required.

It was time to commit…a salt.

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Miguel S.'s avatar

Lmao that’s clever one. It’s awesome to have you joining us Nick!

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Nick's avatar

Love being a part of this word wonderful community!

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Nick Winney's avatar

that was too clever... had to read it twice. good one! great twist on the prompt. how you got to salt and pepper from proximity is baffling but really liked that!😎

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Nick's avatar

My kid was watching an episode of Bluey and the salt and pepper were on the title screen 🤣. Glad you liked it!

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Nick Winney's avatar

the muse finds us where she will...

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Scott MacLeod's avatar

Spice-y!

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Nick Winney's avatar

"You've done WHAT?"

"Hacked the internal proximity mine algorithm. Sir," said the nerdy looking recruit, lost in an oversize set of camo fatigues, blood not quite washed out of them.

"The WarBots all got a deadfall sensor, right? When they go down, it arms, and explodes when anything organic gets close." he pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Yeah...yeah...so?"

"I toggled it to inorganic. Sir."

Their sniper's record 1024 kills with one shot held until earth was reclaimed.

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Jeannine's avatar

Wow! How did you get all that in 80 words! Very cool... and scary!

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Nick Winney's avatar

the last line was the tough one. i had 67 words down and had to finish the scene in 13 words. that was the challenge! i was thinking about Terminator of course haha!

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olivia s's avatar

This reminds me of the story of the flipped code that instructed the AI to produce formulas of hazardous compounds instead of the therapeutic ones.

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Nick Winney's avatar

did this happen or was it a "story"?!!!

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olivia s's avatar

it was a story about something that happened, for real...:)

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Scott MacLeod's avatar

Very cool

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Nick Winney's avatar

Cheers Scott !

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Nick Winney's avatar

thats a very real thing there.

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Miguel S.'s avatar

It was slightly inspired by a vibe that I see in two of my coworkers 🤫

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Scott MacLeod's avatar

Charlene and Ed were equally disinterested parents but when they split, the court (as courts do), gave the bulk of daughter Lily’s custody to mom. Charlene paid her little attention and had no plans to ratchet up her involvement. Still, it is human nature to celebrate victories, however illusory. Failing to read the room, Charlene asked her teen what she thought was the main advantage Charlene offered as a parent compared to her ex.

“Only one,” said Lily dryly. “Proximity”.

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olivia s's avatar

Maybe there is hope, she was asking for feedback ... some never did.

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Scott MacLeod's avatar

Good point

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Miguel S.'s avatar

Ouch. Something about stories that involve awful parents make me wince.

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Scott MacLeod's avatar

My kids say the same thing 😊

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