The emergency team sighed as one and caught each other's harried faces. This had been brutal.
"What should we put for 'cause of death?' "
"Colo-rectal haemorrhage ?" suggested someone.
“Doesn’t quite capture it…” said another, surveying the patient’s ruined body.
"Shame," more like - if he'd only told us what he'd been putting up there...”
There was a clang. The toy E-type jaguar and surgical instruments dropped from the MRI scanner as it powered down. The sonographer had returned from their break.
“Could you not have labelled the OFF switch?” asked the surgeon.
Miguel, I really enjoyed your story. Have to say I'm glad you used my prompt suggestion and I got to see what an emotional attachment people have to their cars!
The emotional connection to a car is real 🥹 I sold mine last year and to this day I think about it . I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m not much of a comedy writer so it took me a lot of tries to come up with something remotely funny haha
She was a beautiful, older Italian model, and my father loved her. Every weekend, he would hose down her black and cream colored body and carefully wipe down her golden leather bucket seats before taking us for a drive.
"Dad, slow down! It says 100!"
"Those are kilometers, honey. It's the metric system!"
Sadly, the pothole-riddled streets of New York took their toll on our vintage beauty. She suffered one breakdown after another, until my heartbroken father finally passed her off to another man, who said he would take care of her.
She’d chosen the metallic green car together with him. She took care of it with love. He’d joked that if it looked too nice, he wouldn’t be able to resist the resale price. They had many beautiful memories in it.
He shifted his stance, back to the present.
The overhead crane pivoted its dripping load from the lake’s surface. A metallic green car with a familiar dashboard was lowered on the ground. Then, a body in a bag was driven away in the ambulance.
He’d lost everything in a blink, as if the same half-wit driver had also hit him.
Nice twist at the end. Thank you for the chuckle. I had to google "Scalextric" to understand the joke, but that's okay. One's never too old to learn something new! 😁
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's a racing game, yes, with little cars that go round a track. I haven't played it myself for years, but I definitely remember the cars used to fly off the track a lot! Haha... 😎
I knew I shouldn't have flipped off Camero Guy, but he was tailgating way too close. Now he was in full road rage mode. I took the next exit, knowing it led to a little town with minimal road maintenance. He fell behind a bit, veering to avoid the potholes, but still too close. I took the next right, leading to a road that I knew faded to rutted dirt. He fairly flew until his low slung car bottomed out, stuck fast. It was getting dark, so I dialed the police: Camero Guy would probably give the bears belly aches.
Caroline pins the tight turn, wheels screaming, and fires down the back road, headlights flashing the woods and also the cop, who hits the lights and siren and peels out after her.
He needs two miles to catch up where Caroline has pulled her Porsche onto the shoulder.
Engine off, window down, she waits for him to run her tags and come up to her driver’s side.
When he instructs, “I need to see your hands,” Caroline lifts her skirt, because that’s where her hands are.
She could have easily outrun him, but sometimes it’s more fun to get caught.
He was proud of his new car, a dark green Plymouth Volaré. Visiting from NH, my brother and I ran an errand with him, in his new Volaré. Heading down a straightaway on CT-184, gas pedal to the floor showing what his beauty could do. Miles down the road, the red light turned to green and he turned left into oncoming traffic. Luckily she was paying attention--only a minor fender bender. Important information was exchanged. “You can drive the rest of the way”--on my learner’s permit. “Don’t tell your grandmother!”. The day I learned Grampa hid his drinking.
We were very lucky that day. He was a jolly man, never went to bars, but I think was just escaping my grandmother a bit with a hit off his flask. In all honesty probably wasn’t expecting to be sent out shopping 😉
Officer Kent of the Florida Highway Patrol was at one of those modern dinner parties the wife loved, and he hated. After the meal they sat in a paneled room and played some silly word games. No, he would not like any port, thank you.
This game was naming famous killer duos. Like Bonnie and Clyde. But this crowd got all fancy and went Oppenheimer and Truman, e.g. He’d skipped that movie.
When his turn came, Kent couldn’t stop thinking about the teenagers he’d scraped off the I-4 pavement the previous night. “I gotta say Steve Jobs with Henry Ford.”
Here in my car, I feel safest of all. Or, at least I did until this pervert started poking himself through the window. Why is it impossible to just be left alone? Even in the arse end of nowhere there’s freaks out the wazoo.
“Mate, what you doing?” I ask, but he’s off his gourd on something—spice or monkey dust, probably. It’s everywhere that shit.
I’m half tempted to just roll the window up and chop it off. Wonder if you’d get banged up for that? I knew I shouldn’t have parked near the hospital.
"I call it," said the surgeon.
The emergency team sighed as one and caught each other's harried faces. This had been brutal.
"What should we put for 'cause of death?' "
"Colo-rectal haemorrhage ?" suggested someone.
“Doesn’t quite capture it…” said another, surveying the patient’s ruined body.
"Shame," more like - if he'd only told us what he'd been putting up there...”
There was a clang. The toy E-type jaguar and surgical instruments dropped from the MRI scanner as it powered down. The sonographer had returned from their break.
“Could you not have labelled the OFF switch?” asked the surgeon.
Miguel, I really enjoyed your story. Have to say I'm glad you used my prompt suggestion and I got to see what an emotional attachment people have to their cars!
The emotional connection to a car is real 🥹 I sold mine last year and to this day I think about it . I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m not much of a comedy writer so it took me a lot of tries to come up with something remotely funny haha
She was a beautiful, older Italian model, and my father loved her. Every weekend, he would hose down her black and cream colored body and carefully wipe down her golden leather bucket seats before taking us for a drive.
"Dad, slow down! It says 100!"
"Those are kilometers, honey. It's the metric system!"
Sadly, the pothole-riddled streets of New York took their toll on our vintage beauty. She suffered one breakdown after another, until my heartbroken father finally passed her off to another man, who said he would take care of her.
A sensible Toyota soon took her place.
Such fate awaits every car lover one day 😭
Microdosing - 100mg of a Car
===
She’d chosen the metallic green car together with him. She took care of it with love. He’d joked that if it looked too nice, he wouldn’t be able to resist the resale price. They had many beautiful memories in it.
He shifted his stance, back to the present.
The overhead crane pivoted its dripping load from the lake’s surface. A metallic green car with a familiar dashboard was lowered on the ground. Then, a body in a bag was driven away in the ambulance.
He’d lost everything in a blink, as if the same half-wit driver had also hit him.
ooooh. painful scene. super sad indeed
sorry Nick.
no need to say sorry... its good!
Good, but super sad.
Sorry about that Jeannine. I have just watched a sad Netflix series and got a little carried away.
Ya gotta watch out for those sad Netflix series. 😉
PROMPT: CAR
THE RACE
To determine once and for all who was the better driver, they’d decided to race.
They even acquired two identical cars, so there could be no excuses.
As a small crowd of their friends watched, they sped off from the Starting Line side by side.
They each took the lead several times, before eventually drawing level again, just as they reached the final bend a short distance from the Finish.
Then, disaster struck.
And an error of judgement caused one of the cars to violently flip over.
But that’s what happens when you take a corner too fast playing Scalextric… 😎
happy days....
They certainly were... 😎👍
Nice twist at the end. Thank you for the chuckle. I had to google "Scalextric" to understand the joke, but that's okay. One's never too old to learn something new! 😁
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's a racing game, yes, with little cars that go round a track. I haven't played it myself for years, but I definitely remember the cars used to fly off the track a lot! Haha... 😎
My brothers had a Hot Wheels track during the 70's. Those cars flew around a lot, too (sometimes on purpose!).
Haha! 😎
I knew I shouldn't have flipped off Camero Guy, but he was tailgating way too close. Now he was in full road rage mode. I took the next exit, knowing it led to a little town with minimal road maintenance. He fell behind a bit, veering to avoid the potholes, but still too close. I took the next right, leading to a road that I knew faded to rutted dirt. He fairly flew until his low slung car bottomed out, stuck fast. It was getting dark, so I dialed the police: Camero Guy would probably give the bears belly aches.
Car - 100 mg
Caroline pins the tight turn, wheels screaming, and fires down the back road, headlights flashing the woods and also the cop, who hits the lights and siren and peels out after her.
He needs two miles to catch up where Caroline has pulled her Porsche onto the shoulder.
Engine off, window down, she waits for him to run her tags and come up to her driver’s side.
When he instructs, “I need to see your hands,” Caroline lifts her skirt, because that’s where her hands are.
She could have easily outrun him, but sometimes it’s more fun to get caught.
https://substack.com/@emastonig
Haha. What a naughty driver Caroline is.
100 mg of Car 11/22/2024
He was proud of his new car, a dark green Plymouth Volaré. Visiting from NH, my brother and I ran an errand with him, in his new Volaré. Heading down a straightaway on CT-184, gas pedal to the floor showing what his beauty could do. Miles down the road, the red light turned to green and he turned left into oncoming traffic. Luckily she was paying attention--only a minor fender bender. Important information was exchanged. “You can drive the rest of the way”--on my learner’s permit. “Don’t tell your grandmother!”. The day I learned Grampa hid his drinking.
Damn. That last line hit me out of no where. Alcoholics jn hiding are scary stuff 🥹
We were very lucky that day. He was a jolly man, never went to bars, but I think was just escaping my grandmother a bit with a hit off his flask. In all honesty probably wasn’t expecting to be sent out shopping 😉
Officer Kent of the Florida Highway Patrol was at one of those modern dinner parties the wife loved, and he hated. After the meal they sat in a paneled room and played some silly word games. No, he would not like any port, thank you.
This game was naming famous killer duos. Like Bonnie and Clyde. But this crowd got all fancy and went Oppenheimer and Truman, e.g. He’d skipped that movie.
When his turn came, Kent couldn’t stop thinking about the teenagers he’d scraped off the I-4 pavement the previous night. “I gotta say Steve Jobs with Henry Ford.”
Thx Nick. I was watching a show that had a teen crash in it, was on my mind.
this is sublime Scott - nice work!
Brutal.
She spotted the 1970 Mustang parked in the driveway.
“Is it yours? she whispered.
“Yes,”
She squealed. She leaned in to touch the white leather seats. “A Mach 1?” she asked with a husky voice.
“Yes,” set off another squeal.
“A 350 Cleveland v8?” she whispered silkily.
“Yes,” was the reply.
“Let’s go for a ride,” she intoned with a hint of romance as she slid her body onto the seat.
”I should have bought this car sooner,” I muttered to myself as I settled into the seat for what would be the most pleasurable night of my life.
She knows her stuff!
I like this one! You should overdose on lighthearted more often. 😊
I will try to keep it in the light for the Holiday season :) No promises tho.
Gary Numan Was Right!
Here in my car, I feel safest of all. Or, at least I did until this pervert started poking himself through the window. Why is it impossible to just be left alone? Even in the arse end of nowhere there’s freaks out the wazoo.
“Mate, what you doing?” I ask, but he’s off his gourd on something—spice or monkey dust, probably. It’s everywhere that shit.
I’m half tempted to just roll the window up and chop it off. Wonder if you’d get banged up for that? I knew I shouldn’t have parked near the hospital.
hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Electric windows/meat slicer....
Monkey dust? Never heard of that one. Fun story though. I would have been inclined to roll up the window, though. 😂
Sadly a real drug - a blight here in the UK. Something like PCP.
Yuck.
What hospital
Asking for a friend? ;)
Maybe >.>