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Boon's avatar

Dangling my feet within the waters, I felt a tickle.

“Are you from the land?” he asked politely.

“I think so,” I said, “I don’t smell like fish.”

“I know… I apologise.”

“Um… have you ever used Lynx Africa?”

“No. What’s that?”

“It’s a delightful body spray. It makes you smell like every teenager ever.”

“I wonder…”

“I can get some at Walmart.”

The man-fish leapt and played, ecstatic as he was for such a kind offer from the land.

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Ali's avatar

I wasn't going to but on consideration:

Newsflash

A factory fishing ship has blown up off Beachy Head.

Eyewitnesses report seeing mermaids attaching limpet mines to the ship shortly before it exploded, but since mermaids don’t exist, experts have dismissed this as poppycock.

This is the fifteenth factory fishing ship to have blown up within the last week. Since their ‘crews’ consist of AI and robots there has been no loss of human life.

The experts are blaming Whichever Country it is We Don’t Like These Days.

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Jeannine's avatar

Way more than capable hands there! This is hilarious and I wish it were true!

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Stephanie Loomis's avatar

May 30 Mermaid 80

Her sisters never understood why she didn't kill the prince. He was supposed to fall in love with her--with or without her voice. When he married the princess, the youngest sister was doomed. The elder sisters bought the knife, so the youngest could slice the prince's throat. Instead, she kissed him, throwing the knife back into the sea. What they didn't know was that, instead of turning to seafoam, the little mermaid joined the loving, joyful sisters of the air.

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J. Paul Hickey's avatar

Mermaids are not just mythological creatures. This is an actual online ad: Your sink stopper’s broken, but fixing a drain is such a pain. Introducing Mer-Maid Drain Magic, the instant solution to most broken drains. Simply remove and replace. And there is this: Mermaid JavaScript based Diagramming and Charting tool that renders Markdown-inspired text definitions to create and modify diagrams dynamically. Perhaps it is just me, but that all takes the magic out of those sensuous, half-naked, captivating aquatic souls.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Conundrum: how do merpeople mate? I've always pondered that one.

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Miguel S.'s avatar

Well either that or they’re like whales, those are mammals.

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Miguel S.'s avatar

The fish way I suppose.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Yeah - that was partly my conundrum - it sort of means the females would have to lay eggs, then bugger off, then a male comes along and does their quickly turning Japanese thing.

This could of course explain why mermaids are so eager to find nice young handsome human men, seeing as they’re not getting any of the how’s your father from their own kind.

Ah - lesbian mermaids! Now there’s a concept.

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Jeannine's avatar

I figure dolphins would be the closest mundane equivalent, so I did some googling. Look up dolphin sex, if you dare, but I warn you that your eyes might pop out! 🤯 Apparently the little buggers are bi, btw, especially the males... I read that one needs to watch oneself around the dudes because when they get randy they'll go after anything that moves! 😕

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

I shall proceed with trepidation…

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Ali's avatar

Just nipped in to say - leaving this one in the more than capable hands of Jeannine!

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Jeannine's avatar

Oh man, you are so sweet. There are a whole bunch of other capable hands here, though, and we can always use a few extra pairs. Especially your's! 😎

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Ali's avatar

Now see what you've done! ;)

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Jeannine's avatar

I love it when my instigation is successful!

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

80mg of MERMAID

Eric was not enjoying visiting Ariel’s family. She’d forsaken life under the sea to live on land with him, surely he could survive a week as part of her world?

Yet when Triton fused his legs into a tail, Eric felt shame instead of wonder. With their eager questions about life above, the gentle curiosity of the merfolk deepened his regret.

Gazing upward through the watery depths to the distant sky, Eric’s heart sank. He loved Ariel, but not enough.

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Bill Ferguson 🇨🇦's avatar

I am over, almost double. Saul and the Siren are part of a short series I am working on.

Saul smiled as he sat in the water on his chair, his feet being nibbled by small fish. He hadn't felt this good in quite a while.

Suddenly the Siren popped up out of the water right in front of him. “Seaweed?” she asked.

“Thank you, no,” he replied.

“Your having amusia has made me rethink my life’s work,” said the Siren.

“Is that so?”

“Siren’s usually see humans as play things. You are much more than that,” she said.

“Considering what sirens did with humans having aphasia probably saved my life,” he said with a smile. “And here we are communicating.”

“Who knew this was how to get along?” replied the Siren. “I should have tried it years ago,” she said as she sank below the surface of the water in search of other food.

He watched her swim away. "This might work," he thought quietly.

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Jeannine's avatar

Oceana always willingly followed the Pod's directives, but obedience cost too much. She lost her daughter, exiled for refusing to kill the tailless offspring of a faithless lover. She never met her granddaughter or the kind man who'd raised her as his own. And now the seagulls informed her of a great-grandson, a  beautiful merboy. Her heart ached for a lost family.

She could stand it no longer and swam away, hoping to exchange ancient traditions for true love.

🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️🧞‍♀️

This is a continuation of the adventures of Merbaby and her family. The beginning is here: https://jeannine85f.substack.com/p/merbaby and the sequel is here: https://jeannine85f.substack.com/p/believe

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Theresa Greene's avatar

I read the comments

I was raised on Disney

My mermaids are kind

They don't hurt me

They dance in the sea

And ride on the backs of whales .

We watch on shore with envy

Their long hair and skin so pale

To be one with the sea is my wish

A dream is a wish your heart makes

So if I were one with the silvery sea

I would embrace the earth and what it takes

I'm not a fish to be caught

or a lost maiden who fell in the sea

I come from a long line of merman

Who chose this way to be

Like dolphins chose not to be dogs

We chose the sea to be our home

We developed limbs that we need

We have no use for telephones

We love the sea and all that's in it

We find what we need to live

We spend our days just grooving

Riding the waves that God gives

And as for the Little Mermaid,

That's a Disney fantasy

We like the way we have evolved.

And would not trade it to leave the sea !

Thank you , Miguel !

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Theresa Greene's avatar

Thank you , Scott 🧜‍♀️

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Theresa Greene's avatar

Thank you, Jeannine! 🧜‍♀️

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Izzibella Beau's avatar

80mg - Mermaid

_________________________________________

When Jonathan told of the silver-eyed mermaid who sang from the rocks, no one took him seriously.

He was obsessed and returned every night to whisper love into the breaking waves.

One night, she rose.

So beautiful.

She whispered, "Stay with me."

Jonathan stepped into the surf. Her kiss was sorrowful.

Love had always been a lure, he realized too late as her fingers tightened around his throat.

The tide carried him away.

The mermaid grinned.

There was silence again.

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Andrew Lynch's avatar

the boat pulled to starboard, as if there was a shift in the current. I saw the rocks, on them a figure. she wasn't like a siren, she didn't seem as ominous. there was no change in the wind, I was certain of that. did she pull me to her? why had I not seen the rocks before? she's looking at me, her voice in my mind. look at me, she says, look at me. I see you, she says

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

80mg of a mermaid

Monty spotted her in his garden, lounging on the herb spiral like she’d paid rent.

“Excuse me,” he called, tail twitching. “This is a private nap establishment.”

She yawned. “I’m Mermaid.”

Monty blinked. “That’s not a name, that’s a plot twist.”

She flicked an ear. “Check the tag, whisker-boy.”

He did. Mermaid. Glittery letters.

By sunset, she’d stolen his sunbeam and two compliments.

He sat beside her, sighing. “Great. A diva with branding.”

She purred. “And you love it already.”

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Izzibella Beau's avatar

Love the kitty twist on this

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Izzibella, I simply refused to write about real kind of Mermaids and than thought at my Monty Stories. That was all the inspiration I needed. Thank you.

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Jeannine's avatar

But I thought that "real" mermaids are manatees. I'm embarrassed to admit that I always wondered how long a sailor had to be a sea to mistake a manatee for a beautiful woman.

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Andrew Lynch's avatar

haha, a plot twist! Monty is sharp. I love his wit. clever boy

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

He is as clever as male cats come. Female ones in my experience have just a bit more up their sleeves, as you can see here.

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Jane Dougherty's avatar

She should have stayed far out to sea, shunned the land where the fisherfolk dried their nets. What use had she for nets and fisherfolk? But curiosity runs deep as oceans, stubborn as cats, and she let the waves carry her close enough to smell the cooking smells, hear the shriek of children playing, to be enchanted by the young man stretching out his nets. Only when she had slipped into his outstretched arms and gazed into his eyes, did she see the ugly calculation beneath his beauty.

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Wonderful Mercedes.

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Mercedes de Santiago's avatar

Thank you very much!

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

You are welcome, I enjoyed reading it.

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M. Brandon Robbins's avatar

He steered his boat toward the source of the song. He eventually came to a rocky island and found a mermaid stretched out under the sun.

She smiled at him and swam to the side of his boat and propped up on the starboard bow.

He asked for a kiss. She giggled, blushed, and nodded her head. Before he touched her lips, she grabbed him around the neck and pulled him under the surface.

He would never hear another song.

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Izzibella Beau's avatar

Excellent. Mine sorta went the same way, those damn, mermaids.

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